Meeting in the Ladies Room: May 2011

~* Ladies Room Lingo *~

#Chosies - Individuals (both male and female) who display acts of desperation on social networking sites, and even in real life, hoping to get “chose”. In real life, their actions may be a little more subtle as compared to online. Real life #Chosies may do things like stand next to VIP, hoping to get chose as the groupie of the night. Rewards might be free drinks, a picture with a celebrity, or an invitation to the “after-party”. Although, the online #Chosies competition is tough; so the acts of desperation are much more prevalent. Remember, these are thirsty males and females alike. These #Chosies do things like post booty pics, boob pics, and other thirsty pics online, solicit themselves for cuddle buddies, and post #LonelyTweets in hopes to find their online savior. But don’t save ’em! (They don’t want to be saved) They just want to be DM’d and get “chose”.

#TheSneakAttack - A relationship tactic used by guys to get you to be their girlfriend. #TheSneakAttack happens when you are "informed" that you are now in a relationship versus being "asked" if you'd like to be in one. A simple example of this is when you are out somewhere with this guy and he introduces you as "his girl" without ever discussing it with you prior -- thus hitting you with #TheSneakAttack.

#BlackGirlFace -
is an extremely dynamic facial expression that requires the scrunching of the face so that the lips are pursed up and together (in most cases, to the side as well) with one eyebrow raised, and the evil eye. When the #BGF is used in combination with the arms crossed, the eyes to the side while looking up and down, and even a #hairflip, DO NOT speak the the Black Girl for at least 2 minutes -- there is a potential catastrophe brewing inside, just like the calm before the storm. The #BGF is also known to be used to emphasize a point, after a sarcastic remark, as a nonverbal hint to "figure it out" (whatever it is), or as a challenge to be challenged.
It also complements phrases like: "Now you know you're lying", "I told you so", "Yes girl! I approve!" , "...and what", "I wish you would" and other face-making situations like these.

#SyllableClap – is an action most commonly used by Black Girls to denote extreme emphasis when speaking (especially when making an important point whether of agreement or disagreement / sharing an intense story). The syllable clap involves clapping your hands together at the point of every syllable of every word in your sentence until your thought is finished. The male modification of the syllable clap can be best described as the “fist-pound-in-hand” where the fist strikes the hand at every syllable of every word in the sentence until the thought is complete. Some Black Girls prefer this modification as well, but it is most common among males.

#AirGrab – is an action most commonly used by Black Girls for no apparent reason. The air grab is an involuntary action which involves grabbing an imaginary hand-full of air and slightly pulling it towards you. This often happens during speech and complements an attitude of some sort. Some women air grab with their dominate hand (left or right) however extreme “Air Grabbers” capture their imaginary air with both hands simultaneously. [Please do not try this at home. These women are trained professionals]

#Hairflip – is the upward flip of the hair when annoyed; when embarrassed; when ending a conversation. When a Hairflip is used to end a conversation you must also throw your face to the side and nose up to show convo conclusion while never making eye contact.

#RabbitSex – is fast-movement sex in which romance is not considered, nor is the satisfaction of the woman. Rabbit Sex usually sounds like slapping and usually feels like pounding. Grunts can usually be heard coming from the male. The woman could probably be seen rolling her eyes if the man considerately decides to look down at her face. Odds are this will not happen because Rabbit Sex is inconsiderate and selfish. Rabbit Sex is not pleasurable for the woman, yet highly satisfying for the man; who oftentimes reverts to this fast-movement when at his highest peak of pleasure. Even as a woman protests, Rabbit Sex is oftentimes a man's first reaction to pleasure and his routine. He knows not what he does.

#HoodratSex – is a type of sex in which little to no clothing of either performing partner comes off, but are magically able to complete the task at hand. Examples of Hoodrat Sex would be (1) the male unzipping his zipper and simply “whipping it out” to have sex or (2) the female “pulling her delicate underwear to the side” to have sex. These are not the only examples of Hoodrat Sex. There is even Hoodrat Sex compatible clothing for those who have mentally prepared to engage in Hoodrat Sex. These types of clothing are said to provide “easy access”. It is also imperative to note that ONE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE CONSIDERED A HOODRAT TO HAVE HOODRAT SEX. The self test: If you had sex and both of you were not completely nude – chances are you just had Hoodrat Sex!

#RobinHoodMentality - “Take from your baller man to give to your broke man”

Acting on this mentality becomes second nature for many women when casually dating. The reason is because the guy you prefer to spend time with usually lacks the funds to do so; in turn you have the overwhelming desire to “help him” overcome any obstacles preventing him from connecting with you. Examples: (1) if you want to talk to him and he doesn’t have a phone – you’ll “help him” get one. (2) If you want to see him and he doesn’t have the funds or a car – you’ll “help him” with his travel arrangements. Many of times the extra cash that allows women to help out the broke man is coming from the baller man. Just like Robin Hood would take from the rich and give to the poor, women tend to do same thing when casually dating, hence Robin Hood Mentality. Honestly, the underlying incentive for women to act on this Robin Hood Mentality is to get to the broke man because he has that "Magicstick."

Meeting in the Ladies Room

Sunday, May 1, 2011

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